The Whole Life Adoption Book

While Carried Safely Home is my all time favorite adoption book where spiritual and emotional issues are concerned, The Whole Life Adoption Book by Jayne Schooler is (so far) my favorite adoption book where practical issues are concerned. AND . . . bonus for you - When I went to find the link on Amazon, I discovered that there is a new edition published this year and co-authored by Thomas C. Atwood. (I posted the picture of the older edition because that is the one that I have.)

Amazon has the "Look Inside" option for the older edition, and I would recommend checking it out - I think the table of contents gives a good idea of what the book is about.

Nico

Nico Everett Swenson
7.7.07 - 6.3.08

Please pray for Adam and Marueen and little Katja as they grieve the loss of their precious little boy. You can read more about their story and specific ways to pray at http://caringbridge.org/visit/nicoswenson

Still Praying for Lilibeth and Eddie

For those of you who follow this blog and also the Eagle's Nest blog, you will already have read a little about Lilibeth and Eddie's situation right now. As we are not in process with the kids anymore, I have not wanted to say anything on this blog, but since it has already been mentioned . . . Please pray for the safety and well-being of these precious kids. As far as we have been told, it is hopeful that they will be returned to Eagle's Nest, but they will most likely be in a government orphanage for the weeks to come. The details are not mine to tell, but thank you for continuing to pray. Lord, we pray for Lilibet and Carlos Eduardo. Please watch over them. Keep them from all harm and watch over their lives. Thank you that you are the God of all comfort, and you love these little ones more than we can ever imagine. We pray that you would comfort them and give them your peace. Surround them with your angels and watch over their coming and going both now and forevermore. In Jesus' all-powerful name we pray, Amen.

There is a Way to Be Happy, Even in Sadness

Godly Sorrow: Jesus' and Ours
By John Piper March 23, 2005

Christian Hedonists embrace necessary sorrow for the glory of God. On the one hand, we are utterly committed to pursuing joy in God at all times. But on the other hand, we know there is more to the emotional life of godly people than joy. Joy is not the only good emotion. But without delight in God, no emotion would be good. Either as component or the concomitant of all godly emotions, it is joy in God that makes them good.

Consider sorrow. Neither Jesus nor the Holy Spirit has ever sinned. But both have grieved. Both have been sorrowful. Therefore, godly sorrow is possible.

Not only that, godly sorrow is possible also for sinners. It is possible precisely because of our sin. One form of sorrow is sorrow for doing something wrong. So Paul writes to the Corinthians:

For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it. . . . I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. (2 Corinthians 7:8-10)

At least two things govern what makes sorrow good. One is the cause, the other is the outcome. The cause of godly sorrow for our own sin is the spiritual perception of its moral ugliness, not just its negative consequences. We see it as morally repugnant. This repugnance is owing to our spiritual preference for the taste of the truth and beauty of God. Therefore our sorrow for sin is rooted in our savoring of God. Sin is a revolting flavor in the feast of godwardness. Therefore, sorrow over this is a signal that we delight in God. That is what makes the sorrow good.

The outcome of good sorrow for sin is repentance and holiness. In fact, repentance includes sorrow for sin and extends it to a more durable experience of holy living. This holy living is the outward form of delighting in God above all sin. Therefore delight in God is what makes the sorrow and repentance good.

But what about sorrow that is not for our own sin, but for the way we are sinned against or the way we are hurt by calamity and loss? Jesus sorrowed like this. For example, when he saw the Pharisees murmuring about his healing on the Sabbath, “He looked around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart” (Mark 3:5). And in the garden of Gethsemane, he said, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch” (Mark 14:34).

Jesus’ sorrow was not owing to his own sin, but to the sins of others. This is the way it is with the Holy Spirit as well. Paul calls us to put sin out of our lives so that we do not grieve the Spirit: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption” (Ephesians 4:29-30).

In the same way believers embrace godly grief not only for our own sins but for the sins of others and for the pain that loss brings us. For example, Peter speaks of our grieving over trials: “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, as was necessary, you have been grieved by various trials” (1 Peter 1:6). Paul speaks of our grieving over lost loved ones: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). And Paul refers to his own grief over the lostness of his kinsmen: “My conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit—that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart (Romans 9:1).

Nevertheless Paul makes the astonishing statement in 2 Corinthians 6:10 that what marks his life and should mark ours is “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.” This is what makes our sorrow godly. I do not claim that this experience is simple or that we can even put it into adequate words—what it means to be joyful in sorrow. Heaving sobs at the loss of a loved one does not look like joy. Indeed is not joy in its fullness, as we will know it when “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

Rather the joy that endures through sorrow is the foretaste of that future joy in God which we hope for in the future. When Jesus was “very sorrowful, even to death” in Gethsemane he was sustained by “the joy that was set before him” (Hebrews 12:2). This does not mean that he felt in the garden or on the cross all that he would feel in the resurrection. But it does mean that he hoped in it and that this hope was an experienced foretaste of that joy.

Therefore, we groan here, waiting for the redemption of our bodies and for the removal of all our sins (Romans 8:23). This groaning and grieving is godly if it is molded by our delight in hope of glory (Romans 5:2-3). The delight is muffled by the pain. But it is there in seed form. It will one day grow into a great vine that yields wine of undiluted delight.

So let us embrace whatever sorrow God appoints for us. Let us not be ashamed of tears. Let the promise that joy comes with the morning (Psalm 30:5) sustain and shape our grief with the power and goodness of God.

By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org

We have an Amazing God!

God continues to be merciful to us and show us more of who He is through our adoption process. Lately this song by Chris Tomlin has really ministered to me. It is so good to trust a God who put the stars in the sky and knows them by name. He who tells every lightning bolt where it should go is the same God who is taking care of Lilibeth and Eddie. This all powerful God is the same God who led us to where we are now. He imagined the sun and gives source to its light, and He has the power to move however He will in the actions of governments and in adoption agencies and in families. He sees to the depth of our hearts. He knows our yearnings and our hurts, and He is powerful and will give us what is good for us. He sees the sinful bitter feelings we struggle against, and yet He loves us. It is so incredible to meditate on the God who controls the universe. Even when I cannot possibly understand the work He is doing in my life, how could I not stand in awe of this indescribable, incomparable, unchangeable, amazing God?

Chris Tomlin - Indescribable
From the album Arriving

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea,
Creation's revealing Your majesty.
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring,
Every creature unique in the song that it sings. All exclaiming...

(Chorus)
Indescribable, Uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God.
All powerful, Untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees and we humbly proclaim,
You are amazing God.

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go,
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow?
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light,
Yet conceals it to give us the coolness of night?
None can fathom...

(Chorus)

Incomparable, Unchangeable,
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same.
You are amazing God.

De Colores

If you are still checking for new posts on my sad little blog, thank you very much for hanging in there and for your support! Hopefully I can give you some nice rewards for your loyalty. I'm determined to finish my entries on my favorite adoption resources!

This one is for those of you who are adopting from a Spanish speaking country. We love music in our home, and I believe it would be a great tool for helping your little one make the transition into your home. We were planning on bringing home a lively pre-schooler and a sweet, quite little toddler. One of the ways I was excited to bond with them was through music. I found an excellent CD and book set. They are sold separately, but I highly recommend buying both. It is called De Colores and other Latin-American Folk Songs for Children. The CD is sung in very clear (easy to understand) Spanish with a simple guitar accompaniment. The book has wonderful illustrations and also has the lyrics in both English and the original Spanish. There are even background notes on the origins of the songs and suggestions for fun ways to sing the song with your children (hand gestures, actions, etc.) The book also has the musical arrangements for piano and guitar. The links I included are all to Amazon, but you can also check out his web-site at http://www.joseluisorozco.com/.

José-Luis Orozco, who Amazon says is "perhaps the best-known bilingual children's singer," was born in Mexico city and has lived in many different countries. With Spanish as his native tongue, the songs are very well done, and not cheesy like many children's CDs out there. He has several different CDs, but I chose this one because we already knew a few of the songs on the CD. (Including "La araña pequeñita" or "The Eensy, Weensy Spider") I bought a CD for the car and one for the house so that we could really learn the songs well. Sophia and Dillon love it!

Pain for the Glory of God

Several of you have asked if we have heard anything recently about how Lilibeth and Eddie are doing. First of all, thank you for asking, and thank you for realizing that this is still painful for us. No, unfortunately we do not know for sure how they are doing. We have not heard from the family that is in process with them for a while, and we have yet to get a response from the international agency.

We are still dealing with the pain of this situation. There are few people who we have told everything about what has happened, so I'm sure it is hard to understand why we are still hurting over everything. Suffice it to say that we would give anything and do anything to have Lilibeth and Eddie home with us. When we accepted the referral they became our kids. We love them deeply and feel the loss greatly. Believe me, we have exhausted every avenue that we can think of, but we have realized that there is nothing left for us to do but to trust in the Lord's goodness and faithfulness.

When we embarked on this adoption journey our prayer was that God would be glorified throughout our process. Although we are trying not to dwell on our pain, we are acknowledging that God has an eternal purpose even in this horrendously difficult situation. We are grabbing unto God's promise that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28) and steadfastly holding on regardless of how long the pain persists. We know that God can and will use all things to conform us "to the likeness of His Son" (Romans 8:29) And as Job said, "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him." (Job 13:15) The God of the universe is our Father, and He does not make mistakes. He has never failed us, and He will not fail us now.

God's sovereignty means that He could have prevented my pain -- ouch! I don't like that! IF He is good, how could He have allowed such affliction? But the answer comes back from the pages of Scripture. His goal for me is far higher than external pleasure or a life without pain. He loves me so much that He desires to shape me into the very image of Jesus, and He is powerful enough to use every relationship and situation in my life to accomplish His objective. Yielding to this glorious truth delivers me from slavery to my pain -- perhaps not from the pain, but from slavery to it. . .

"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure . . . . Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us . . . " (II Corinthians 1:8-10).

Our tendency to independence is crushed when the pressure is beyond our ability and we cast ourselves on resurrection power. Then we depend on His power that has delivered us, does deliver us, and will continue to deliver us!

Quote from By Design by Susan Hunt

If I Had My Life to Live Over

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer.)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it ... live it .and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff. Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with.

I hope you all have a blessed day.