We left for church this morning - Sophia wearing one of her dress-up cloth's dresses (A "bride's dress" - now mind you, it was an actual girls dress - probably from the 80's . . . ) Dillon had his church pants on . . . from last year . . . let's just say it looked like we were expecting a very large flood. Jack . . . well, he's just a baby so it doesn't really matter . . . right? Me, hmmm, suffice it to say that I've got a ways to go before my clothes fit me right again. (Jonathan did look nice though!)
So, I left the house feeling thankful that we were going to go to a different church today - I wouldn't know anyone there anyways. . .
SO who do we end up sitting by? You got it - Not only one of the families from Sophia's private school, but one of the most affluent families . . . AND the one with the cutest, best dressed mom and the sweetest most adorable kids! AND THEN, to top it off, my kids were in rare form the whole service - (Sophia was even under the pew at one point!)
As I sat there fuming at my misbehaving, geeky looking kids I realized that what was really going on with me was a ton of pride! Why should I be so livid at my kids? Why not sad that they were being disrespectful in church? The answer: IT WAS ALL ABOUT ME! My pride was hurt. Not only did we look like we got all our clothing at the local Good Will, but I also "obviously" was not quite cutting it as a mom with the way my kids were behaving.
What I needed was a change of heart.
The Lord was merciful to me and moved me from a fit of anger and self pity to one of humility and repentance. My kids were dressed the way they were because I had wanted to focus on a peaceful morning before church and chose not to start our morning off with fights about wardrobe. My kids were behaving like they were because they are still in training. They are still learning how to worship respectfully.
AND because the Lord needed to teach me a lesson about the difference between hurt pride and righteous indignation . . . The difference between disciplining my kids because they are making me look bad and disciplining them because I am concerned about the state of their souls . . . The difference between focusing on outward appearances and focusing on inner beauty . . . The difference between living for the moment and living for eternity.
Although I pretty much missed most of the sermon because I was busy redirecting my children, the Lord met me in a powerful way this morning.
(This is what I was wishing they looked like this morning!) :)
