Pain for the Glory of God

Several of you have asked if we have heard anything recently about how Lilibeth and Eddie are doing. First of all, thank you for asking, and thank you for realizing that this is still painful for us. No, unfortunately we do not know for sure how they are doing. We have not heard from the family that is in process with them for a while, and we have yet to get a response from the international agency.

We are still dealing with the pain of this situation. There are few people who we have told everything about what has happened, so I'm sure it is hard to understand why we are still hurting over everything. Suffice it to say that we would give anything and do anything to have Lilibeth and Eddie home with us. When we accepted the referral they became our kids. We love them deeply and feel the loss greatly. Believe me, we have exhausted every avenue that we can think of, but we have realized that there is nothing left for us to do but to trust in the Lord's goodness and faithfulness.

When we embarked on this adoption journey our prayer was that God would be glorified throughout our process. Although we are trying not to dwell on our pain, we are acknowledging that God has an eternal purpose even in this horrendously difficult situation. We are grabbing unto God's promise that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28) and steadfastly holding on regardless of how long the pain persists. We know that God can and will use all things to conform us "to the likeness of His Son" (Romans 8:29) And as Job said, "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him." (Job 13:15) The God of the universe is our Father, and He does not make mistakes. He has never failed us, and He will not fail us now.

God's sovereignty means that He could have prevented my pain -- ouch! I don't like that! IF He is good, how could He have allowed such affliction? But the answer comes back from the pages of Scripture. His goal for me is far higher than external pleasure or a life without pain. He loves me so much that He desires to shape me into the very image of Jesus, and He is powerful enough to use every relationship and situation in my life to accomplish His objective. Yielding to this glorious truth delivers me from slavery to my pain -- perhaps not from the pain, but from slavery to it. . .

"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure . . . . Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us . . . " (II Corinthians 1:8-10).

Our tendency to independence is crushed when the pressure is beyond our ability and we cast ourselves on resurrection power. Then we depend on His power that has delivered us, does deliver us, and will continue to deliver us!

Quote from By Design by Susan Hunt

If I Had My Life to Live Over

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer.)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it ... live it .and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff. Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with.

I hope you all have a blessed day.

Carried Safely Home

Finally, the moment you've all been waiting for. . . A break from the weighty posts and a recommendation for my all time favorite adoption book. If you don't know me well, I will say that I'm kind of a nut when it comes to books and researching everything thoroughly. Without exaggeration, I would say that I own at least a dozen books on adoption. If you've been following my blog for awhile, you will already know which adoption book outshines all the others (in my opinion.) I have quoted from it in these posts:

Lessons Learned: Standing and Waiting

Psalm 139

I highly recommend this book by Kristin Swick Wong Carried Safely Home: The spiritual legacy of an adoptive family. It is full of Godly insights and saturated with Scripture, and at the same time Kristin is open and honest with her struggles. She does an excellent job describing the pain of being separated from the child that you are waiting to adopt and follows that with the lessons she learned during her adoption processes. I would recommend the book not only to families currently in the process of adopting, but also to anyone who would like to understand more of what a family experiences emotionally while they are waiting to bring their child home.