When There's Crisis at Christmas

By Noel Piper

One November a friend of mine almost lost her child. By Christmas the crisis was past, but they still were not sure of the long-term implications. She e-mailed me in mid-December, during the season which, before this, had always been her favorite:

Surprisingly, I'm finding Christmas hard. A little bit I resent all the hoopla; sometimes I want to shout: Don't you know my baby could have died?!

At the same time I'm very grateful she's alive and very aware that she might not have been. So you'd think I'd be really, really happy! In spiritual terms, Christmas is not very meaningful to me this year one way or the other. I feel a bit like God and I are on a journey together, seeing and doing a lot, but certainly not staying anywhere for any length of time.

If you are bearing a difficult load, it can weigh even heavier as you look around at all the holiday excitement. It may seem that everyone is happy, except you.

Maybe you wonder how you can celebrate when you feel so numb. May I invite you to look over my shoulder at the letter I sent my friend? I pray it might be an encouragement to you.

It's not at all surprising that Christmas is hard for you this year. The reason for Christmas is the same as it ever was, and nothing is more essential to our lives than the incarnation.

What's different for you, I expect, is that the traditions we wrap around Dec. 25 to make it different from other days, those traditions and activities are as nothing to you this year. In fact, the thought of them probably weighs like a lump of lead in your belly. So what!

Trees are nothing. Feasts are nothing. Lights are nothing. Music is nothing.

Only Christ matters. He is the only reason that you can be on any sort of journey with God, that you can have anything at all to do with God.

Only Jesus matters. Hold on to that. One time I told someone in hard times, "Just hang in there." But she corrected me, "I'm not just hanging in there. I'm trying to hang on to Jesus."

So please, just keep hanging on to Jesus.

Sometimes, when things are going well, we might too easily forget that we have only one sure, immovable, dependable strength: Jesus, who was a baby once, and is always and forever God. That is what holds us and keeps us, whether or not we can carry out our traditions.

May our decorations, gifts, and festivities—or lack of them—never block our view of Him, but always point us toward Him.

Going to God in our Weariness

The Pulley

by George Herbert

When God at first made man,
Having a glasse of blessings standing by;
Let us (said he) poure on him all we can:
Let the worlds riches, which dispersed lie,
Contract into a span.

So strength first made a way;
Then beautie flow’d, then wisdome, honour, pleasure:
When almost all was out, God made a stay,
Perceiving that alone, of all his treasure,
Rest in the bottome lay.

For if I should (said he)
Bestow this jewell also on my creature,
He would adore my gifts in stead of me,
And rest in Nature, not the God of Nature:
So both should losers be.

Yet let him keep the rest,
But keep them with repining restlesnesse:
Let him be rich and wearie, that at least,
If goodnesse leade him not, yet wearinesse
May tosse him to my breast.

I found this poem on my pastor's blog. It was very encouraging to me (despite the old-English).

You give and take away; My heart will choose to say; Lord, Blessed be your name

This week has been very painful for us. After many hours of agonizing prayer, phone calls, e-mails, struggles . . . We have found that we will not be able to bring Lilibeth and Eddie home under the current system of adoption in Guatemala. We are hoping and praying that God will provide a way for us to bring them home next year. The current adoption laws end at the end of this year, and there isn't anything in place for next year yet.

Please pray with us that God will provide a way for Lilibeth and Eddie to come home. We are heartbroken.

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

Please Pray for us

Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,
for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God!
Psalm 143:8&10

Lord, please let us hear of your steadfast love. Help us to trust in you. Make us know the way we should go, for we lift up our souls to you. Teach us your will and help us to walk in your ways. Thank you that you are our God! Amen.

Having fun at Christmas

Who is this guy?

Nice to meet you!

Dinosaurs and God: Lessons from a two-year-old

Last night Dillon woke up screaming, and when I raced in to see what was wrong he exclaimed, "Oh, Mommy, I sooooo scared! I soooo scared Mommy!" Then he proceeded to describe his dream where he was trying to get away from two dinosaurs (using Papa's lawn tractor.) When he finished telling me, I asked him,
"Who made the dinosaurs?" He exclaimed,
"God did!"
"Right! And who is bigger than the dinosaurs?"
"God is!!!"
"Yes! And who is taking care of you?"
"God is!!!"
Then we prayed and said our verse:

When I am afraid, I will trust in You. (Psalm 56:3)

He peacefully went back to sleep.

Dear Lord, give me the faith of a child. Give me eyes to see that you are bigger than any of the scary things I want to run away from. Give me a heart that sees your hand involved in sovereignly orchestrating even the difficulties in my life, and help me to remember that you are the same God who made the universe and also holds it in the palm of your hand. Thank you that you are this great God who also cares for me. Help me to say with David and my two year old boy, "When I am afraid, I will trust in You."

Guatemalan Adoption Law passed

As some of you know, there has been a lot going on with Guatemala adoption laws right now. I'm trying not to get into the technical, nitty-gritty details here, but if you want more info you can look at the Guatadopt site that I like to get updates from. Basically, they are making changes as of Jan 1st to how adoptions will work. There are still some details they are figuring out, so I won't speculate about what "could" possibly happen. Suffice it to say that there are many more unknowns with this adoption than we ever could have imagined when we started the process. Please pray for peace for us, and for guidance for the authorities that are making huge decisions that affect many innocent, helpless children. Please also pray that the Lord will cause our case to be resubmitted and out of PGN before the end of the year.

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement!

Eddie's December Pictures and Health Report!

Eddie is 20lbs, 30 in tall, and "has a cold, but is doing fine. Very happy this time." (Those are the remarks from the Doctor.)

Lilibeth's Pictures and December Health Report!

Lilibeth is 26lbs 9oz, 34 1/2 in tall, and is "healthy, happy and a sweetheart."

Merry Christmas!

We have only one sure, immovable, dependable strength - Jesus,
who was a baby once and is always and forever God.
~Noel Piper
Treasuring God in Our Traditions

God's perfect timing - V (to be continued. . .)

We got some hard news yesterday. We were expecting to hear any day now that we have been resubmitted to PGN (the final court) - Instead we heard that we will have to wait again due to some technical problems with one part of the paperwork. (It's amazing how precise everything needs to be!) It's quite a process to even change a small detail, so we can expect it to be January before we are resubmitted. We are still praying that it will be before then, but it is completely out of our control. Even though it is incredibly hard when we encounter these "set-backs," we know that God is in control. We are walking in the path he has placed before us, and He is directing our steps according to His perfect will and in His perfect time!

Thank you all for your prayers. We are really feeling encouraged right now in spite of difficulties, and we are very grateful to all of you who are upholding us in prayer!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Pictures!

Perfect timing - I got these pictures from another adoptive mom who was just at EN visiting her daughter over Thanksgiving. This was such a special unexpected blessing at the perfect time!

God's perfect timing - IV

After taking a break from the adoption process for Dillon's birth, we started up again in the summer of 2005. Again, we started praying for the child or children that God had planned for us. (Eddie was born in the summer of 2005 - right about the same time we started praying for him and again for Lilibeth.)

Shortly after Christmas that year God clearly directed our attention to a little girl with special needs in Guatemala. We prayed and prayed and prayed about pursuing adopting her, and God worked out seemingly impossible situations to move us towards bringing her home. She was about 3 years old and was developmentally delayed. Both my husband and I have had a lot of experience and education working with developmentally challenged kids, and we really felt the Lord's guiding in throughout the whole process. I could give you many, many examples of doors that He opened that seemed like impossible hurtles at the time.

But, long story short - the agency representing this little girl matches kids with families instead of families with kids. So there isn't a waiting list - it comes down to who is the best family for the child. After about a month of pursuing this little girl it was down to us and one other family. The next step was going to be phone interviews with a team of social workers. Of course, this was a unique process for us and I felt a little uncomfortable with it (it almost felt like I was 'competing' for this child), but we just kept giving it to the Lord and asking Him to bless this child with the family that is best for her and to prepare our hearts for whatever the outcome. So, after we said that we still wanted to pursue the adoption and continue the process with the phone interviews we got a phone call (the next day in fact) saying "This has never happened before and it is unheard of, but this little girl (who by the way, was in a government run orphanage) was also assigned to another agency and she has already been matched with a European family!" So after all the doors the Lord opened for us, he definitely slammed the last one closed! It was difficult, but also bitter sweet to rest in knowing and seeing that the Lord will take care of the outcome!

And He certainly did have a bigger plan than we ever imagined. The Lord ended this process for us in the middle of February, and at the same time he brought Lilibeth and Eddie to Eagle's Nest Children's home. It is so amazing to look back at how the Lord moves through even painful situations to bring about His perfect plan.

More prayer requests

Please pray for us that we would trust in God's perfect timing. We talked with our social worker this morning and were told not to expect the kids to be out of PGN until February. (She is not even sure that their case has been resubmitted yet.)

There are so many unknowns right now with Guatemalan adoptions. And so many factors involved in this adoption that are completely out of our control. Please pray that we will have peace with where the Lord has us right now. Also pray that the Lord will move in the hearts of the people that do have more "control" over this adoption, that they would make decisions that are in the best interests of Lilibeth and Eddie. Pray that as Abraham willingly gave up his son as an act of obedience to God, we would also give Lilibeth and Eddie up to the Father and His timing, His control.

Thank you!

Swim time!

We are so thankful that Lilibeth and Eddie are in a children's home where they are loved and taken such good care of! They have so many opportunities to grow and develop there. Including playing in the swimming pool! When they get here they will have to adjust to our boring scenery, cold weather, and no pool! :)

God's perfect timing - III

We originally began our adoption process in the summer of 2004. At that time we also began praying in earnest for the little baby girl that God had already created specifically to be in our family. We prayed for her health and the health of her birthmother, and we prayed that God would protect them both from harm and that he would give her birthmother strength and comfort.

A few months after we started the adoption process, we found out that we were pregnant! Even though we were thrilled we were also a bit grieved because God had already created a love in our hearts for a little girl that we did not even know anything about yet. . . We were surprised at this turn of events, but God was not. He graciously planned for us to cover Lilibeth's first few months of life in prayer. (Lilibeth was born in the summer of 2004 - right about the same time we started praying for her.)

God's perfect timing - II

On Tuesday's blog I posted a copy of an e-mail I sent a friend - In that e-mail I said:

I'm also praying that God would mightily show Himself to our social worker and others at Crossroads through our adoption process. In some ways we've already seen His blessing and answering that prayer, and we trust He will continue to do that!

Another amazing way that God moved through our referral was by revealing His power to our social worker. She was so thrilled about our referral. When we started this process with her and told her that we wanted siblings - specifically a girl born in the summer of 2004 (Lilibeth was born summer of 2004) and her sibling born sometime during or after the summer of 2006, and that preferably we would like the sibling to be a boy (Eddie was born summer of 2006) . . . I think she thought we were crazy! (She did approve our homestudy though) :) She repeatedly, throughout our process reminded us how unlikely it would be for a sibling group younger than Sophia and that it would obviously be even more unlikely for them to be the exact ages and genders we wanted. We were really resigned to the "fact" that we would be matched with an infant.

So all that to explain that she was so amazed with our referral - And she said a few times, "I'm just amazed at how God answered all your prayers!"

Please continue to pray with us that God will glorify Himself through our process and that people would see Him and be drawn to this mighty God!

God's perfect timing

I've just been thinking a lot lately about how God has mightily answered our prayers throughout this process. SO, to encourage you, I thought I'd list some of the ways He has been moving. This will just be random thoughts/blog entries.

I was looking back at God's timing for everything so far. Here is a copy of an e-mail I sent to a friend on Monday, September 24th:

This whole process is teaching me to just let go and really trust in God's perfect timing and perfect wisdom. Knowing that no matter what happens it will be for good. So, I'm learning not to get all upset about things that are really beyond my control. (Like why didn't we get to be on the waitlist right away.) Of course my first thoughts are - "wait a minute, why wasn't our process like that!" But I know better than to dwell on that. It's really a growing experience for me. I'm usually much more of a "hands on," "get it done," "assert yourself" type person. Anyways, just random thoughts, but all to say that it's really been good to rest in knowing that God is in control and working all things (even the hard things) together for our good! My biggest prayer through this whole process is that no matter what happens God will amazingly glorify his name through our process. We are actually kind of in a unique situation working with Crossroads, because as far as I know, most of their employees are not believers. So I'm also praying that God would mightily show Himself to our social worker and others at Crossroads through our adoption process. In some ways we've already seen His blessing and answering that prayer, and we trust He will continue to do that!

Here's are excerpts from an e-mail I sent just four days later on Thursday morning, September 27th:

We got a referral this morning!!! Okay, let me back up. Last night I told my husband that I am praying that if God wants us to move ahead with Guatemala, then he would give us a referral THIS week . . . So, this morning my phone rings at 8 am. It's my social worker. She says, "I know now why Joanna told you to hang tight." There are siblings (3 year old girl and 1 year old boy) . . .WOW! We are just amazed! Not only did God answer my prayers about siblings (I wanted a girl that exact age and a baby boy!), but he also gave us our referral when we asked for it.

(NOTE: We were number 7 on the waitlist when we decided to pray for a referral by the end of the week.)

Psalm 139

O lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows those we love better than we do, too, and what is mysterious, confusing, or vexing to us is not so to Him. And right now the Lord, who sees when we sit and rise, watches our Lilibeth growing into an independent, sweet little girl, and our Eddie learning his first words and taking his first steps.

You hem me in, behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.

Those we love and long to protect are covered by the only one who is really able to keep them safe. We pray that God will hem in Lilibeth and Eddie, protecting their hearts and souls while they are without family, so that they will be able to receive our love later. This verse gives me hope that the Lord can indeed answer that prayer.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there. If I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn; if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me; your right hand will hold me fast.

We grieve this separation from our daughter and son. Throughout life, we will sometimes be apart from those we love- husbands on trips, parents in nursing homes, small children off to school for the first time, grown children overseas serving on the mission field- and then the longer, harder separation of death. This brings anxiety and sadness. But nothing can separate those we love from God. This idea is gloriously amplified in Romans, in a verse well worth pondering every day, a verse that can be read with trumpet fanfare or a sweet small voice: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Rom 8:38-39)

If I say 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,' even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

God sees everything. What seems dark to us is not so to him. We do not know exactly what is happening in Guatemala and why Lilibeth and Eddie have not been cleared for adoption. But God does. He sees the events and people around us radically differently from how we see them. We fear darkness will hurt those we love. Perhaps it will. But to him, it is not hidden or dark.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.

What joy that Lilibeth and Eddie have been knit together by God! I have not carried them in my womb; I have not been there for their beginnings. But God was there, creating them, watching them. God told Jeremiah: "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations" (Jer 1:5). God carefully crafted David before he was king, Jeremiah before he was prophet, and Lilibeth and Eddie before they were home with family.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

To us, Lilibeth and Eddie's delay is unexpected and vexing. To God it is not a surprise. These days and nights were written in the Lord's book long before we stumbled across them. The unique life that God planned for Lilibeth and Eddie has already started.

Surely this psalm could also comfort the heart of Lilibeth's and Eddie's birth mother, if she could read it. She could glimpse God's plan arching above the brokenness and uncertainties of her life. She could see that there was an eternal purpose for the babies made inside of her and find comfort in her decision to protect these carefully created children instead of ending their lives in abortion. Perhaps she will find these verses. If I believe that God has laid his a hand on Lilibeth and Eddie, I can believe that he may lay his hand on her as well.

What a treasure God has given us in these words and in others that speak his promises to our hearts. Thank you, Father. ***


***This is a modified excerpt from an excellent book I am reading right now. The title is Carried Safely Home: The spiritual legacy of an adoptive family by Kristin Swick Wong. I highly recommend it, especially for those whose lives have been touched by adoption. I'm about halfway through and it has been such an encouragement to me! It describes what we are going through so exactly and with so much Godly wisdom and encouragement.

More pictures

(Lilibeth is on the right)

New Pictures!

Must see video!

One of the gals that went on the mission's trip to our orphanage with my friend put together a great video! It had me in tears by the end and not just because Lilibeth blew me a kiss!

Don't miss out!

Next week there will be a series of radio broadcasts concerning adoption. I'm looking forward to listening!

You can get find out more and see the broadcast schedule at: http://cryoftheorphan.org/Display.asp?Page=Broadcast

"Open your heart for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and defend the rights of the poor and needy." Proverbs 31:8-9

May you be greatly encouraged during this next week!

Praying for a miracle

God has worked many miracles for us already in this process, and we are praying for another one! We found out yesterday that the Guatemalan Christmas Holiday season starts November 15th! Which means that the government staffing at PGN (the court system) goes down to half starting November 15th and going through the rest of the year. Of course, this means that everything goes much slower there. Our case still has not been resubmitted to PGN yet because the corrections are still being made. Please join us in praying that the corrections will get done soon, and that our attorney (Pedro) would be able to quickly resubmit the case.

We have not been told which reviewer the case is with, so we don't know how far along it is. (The case has to be reviewed by three people before it can be signed out by the "final authority".) We are also praying that once we are back in PGN the Lord would move our paperwork quickly through so that the kids could get out before the end of the year. From our discussions with our social worker this sounds very unlikely, but we know that the Lord will work miracles here if it is best (after all, He is the actual Final Authority!), and as always we are praying that He will amazingly glorify His name through this process.

Thank you for your prayers and please don't hesitate to post or e-mail questions - we are glad to answer them if we can. We appreciate all of you!

Eddie

Whoa - a spider just landed in my lap!

Not funny!

Lilibeth

Where's the crow's nose?

Where's his eyes?

Muy Bien! (Very Good!)

Good news!

I have a friend who is on a mission's trip right now to Eagle's Nest and is spending time with Lilibeth and Eddie! She was so sweet and e-mailed me right away about them. Here are some of the descriptors she used for them: "AMAZING. . . awesome. . . laugh a lot. . . beautiful . . . SMART . . . outgoing . . . cuddly . . .VERY, VERY smart. . ." All these among other very encouraging comments about these kiddos. I'm so grateful to her for spending time loving them. She also described Lilibeth DANCING to the hokey pokey . . . apparently it was very cute and had everyone cracking up . . . "she shakes her whole hiney when she dances."

Sad news

We just got news that our case has been "kicked out" of PGN. This means that there are corrections that need to be done to the paperwork before it can be resubmitted. Please pray that the corrections will be made quickly and efficiently and that our case will be resubmitted soon. Please also pray for us that we would keep our feet firmly planted on our Solid Rock during this time of uncertainty.

Prayer Requests

Thank you so much to all of you who are praying for us right now. We really appreciate your support. Some of you have asked specifically how they can pray so I will try to list a few things.

1. Pray that we will have peace right now and rest in God's plan for us.
2. We are also praying that God would continue to guide and direct us in this process.
3. Pray that God will prepare our hearts for these children and that He will also move in Sophia's and Dillon's hearts as well as Lilibeth's and Eddie's to prepare them for the changes ahead.
4. Please pray that the reviewers in the Guatemalan courts will look favorably on their case and sign them "out" of PGN (the court system) soon.
   

Thank you again for your prayers! We are excited to see how God moves!

Prayer

Lilibeth and Eddie have been in PGN since the beginning of September. This is the final court process in Guatemala. Please pray that the reviewers would look favorably on their case and sign them "out" of PGN soon.

Adoption news!

We have received a referral for a sibling set of two! Lilibeth is three and Eddie just turned one. We would really appreciate your prayers for wisdom as we make decisions in the next few days.

This referral is in many ways an answer to a lot of prayers, and we have felt the Lord leading us to these two precious kids. However, there are still questions that need answers before we can formally accept this referral. Please join us in praying that the Lord would direct our path and we would make decisions that would glorify Him.

Thank you for your prayers!

Waiting

I waited patiently for the Lord,
he turned to me and heard my cry.
Psalm 40:1

"I do not cease to give thanks for you,

remembering you in my prayers."